Control is a funny thing.
Everybody wants to be in control of their lives. But is it even possible?
It’s not certain that free will even exists. It feels like we have it, but feeling something doesn’t verify it’s existence. The science is very much undecided.
Even so, we get caught up in the pursuit of control. We look to control other people, to control ourselves, to control what we eat and what we do and what we think. But we can’t control where we were born. We can’t control our culture, our society. We can’t control where we’re dropped into this crazy world of ours. 99% of everything in our lives is predetermined.
So why do we cling so tightly to the feeling that we can control that remaining 1%? Why do we so desperately wish to be the masters of our destinies? Wouldn’t we be happier accepting the fact that we ultimately are just pawns in an incomprehensible game?
Your mistakes in the past were merely the machinations of the machine. The universe spawned you, and it spawned everything that led you to the point where you did what you did. If you believe in free will, you believe that something inside you was fundamentally incorrect.
If you accept that free will is an illusion, your mistakes take a different color.
If there is no free will, everything you have ever done was simply the thing you did. You were a passenger there, and you remain a passenger. You still try your best, you work hard, you reach to achieve the goals you hold dear. None of that changes. But you accept that ultimately, God is in control. If free will doesn’t exist, then maybe there is a great Watchmaker God who set the whole thing in motion, knowing each and every eventuality. Maybe trusting in that make us feel less insignificant.
Or maybe not.