This is a hard lesson to learn, but people don’t care about you.
First and foremost, people care about themselves. People worry about themselves and their own problems. People spend all day in their own mind, thinking about their own bullshit. Nobody gives a fuck about you, outside of that small 5% window of time where they actually consider how other people must be feeling.
There are exceptions to this rule, of course. There are geniuses of empathy who can constantly be considerate and loving towards other people. But most people, probably 99% of people, just don’t have the mental space to give a fuck about you at all.
That’s just the way it is.
Maybe I’m stupid for expecting people to care. I should know, somewhere deep down, that nobody really cares about anyone other than themselves at the end of the day. Because, honestly, that’s the way it is. But I can’t bring myself to feel that way. I feel that people are good, and that we should all care about each other deeply, fundamentally.
That’s not the world we live in right now, though. Everyone is so caught up in their own petty bullshit that nobody has the time to realize that what they do has an effect on other people. Nobody has the time to give a fuck about their friends, their family, or the people who love them. We take everyone for granted, and then one day one of us dies. The living remember the dead for awhile, and pretty soon neither one gives a fuck about the other even as a passing courtesy. All pretense is gone.
People will always make promises. People will always claim to be better than they are, and their promises reflect that. Promises get broken and the walls around our hearts get a couple inches higher. Maybe I’m just waiting for one person who really does love other people, who really cares what everyone around her thinks and feels and dreams about on lonely Sunday afternoons.
Maybe I’ll be waiting forever.